Sigh.. what can I say? I am not meant to be inside ALL day EVERY day. The walls are closing in. I rely on everyone and anyone to get out of my apartment out back into the real world. It's a good thing I have unlimited minutes on my phone. Or would be if I could get ahold of anyone...
In two days it will have been three weeks since my brilliant attempt to get on my horse bareback. I'll tell you what, yesterday was fucking miserable. I think I had a beer at 11am (right after my morning coffee) just because it was something to do. I folded all of my laundry- oh yea, that's how bored I was. But guess what? I actually couldn't put any of it away, because try carrying folded laundry on crutches. Not so much fun.
I have 5-6 weeks before I go in for another set of xrays and at that point might be allowed to start weight bearing a little bit. More than anything, I'm afraid that my foot won't hold and at that point will need surgery. Hold your breathe and cross your fingers... Another 8 weeks after these 9 weeks just really doesn't seem fair.
I'm clinging to the hope that by my brithday I will be able to sit on my horse. That would be 10 weeks from the date of injury. please.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Week Two of brokennesssss
I'm not so sure that brokenness is a word, but I feel that it should be. It seems to fit the ability to describe a situation/feeling in a simplistic straightforward moderately amusing way. (hence the name of this post) One of long time friends and confidants mentioned that in my copious free time I should blog more... admittedly, though I thought it was a good idea, I was not so sure that ANYONE actually read this. However, to my pleasant suprise, there is at least one random reader- so blog I shall :)
The theme of the week is bi-polar disorder. Not the medically treated kind, nor the kind typically diagnosed by professionals, but the kind that settles in the dark recesses of your iris when type-A people are thrown to a screeching halt and wonder where all the noise is from their usually frenetic life. That kind of bi-polar disorder. The kind that seeps emotion into your daily tasks where emotion had previously been void. For example, the joy at being able to clumsily carry boiling pasta across the kitchen while on crutches, and conversely the intense despair at having to spend 10 fucking minutes balancing boiling pasta, while chaotically dodging cats and dogs while on crutches. That kind of bi-polar disorder.
Admittedly, I am in a fairly decent "space" at this particular moment, so this post doesn't have the wrist-slicing depressed thoughts it might have had week one of brokenness :) I've been able to keep amazingly busy and have had time (forced time) to sit down and figure out some more technical aspects to my website that I haven't been able to as of yet. Lame, yes, but I am still pretty excited that I was able to figure out the html coding to create PDF files and have my price lists link to my website (even open in new window-thanks to Sarah and Scotty) AND.. oh yes.. there's more... I have actually figured out how to add music to my website. Take that 6 yr old programmers.
I know it's all stuff that is pretty basic, but that's not the point. The point is, as my life in many aspects has come to a screeching halt, I figured why not take the forced vacation and increase my working knowledge level? So that is kinda my mantra right now. I may not be able to ride, walk, drive, work, go to shows, jump around with my camera... but at least I can read and play on my computer. Yay me.
The theme of the week is bi-polar disorder. Not the medically treated kind, nor the kind typically diagnosed by professionals, but the kind that settles in the dark recesses of your iris when type-A people are thrown to a screeching halt and wonder where all the noise is from their usually frenetic life. That kind of bi-polar disorder. The kind that seeps emotion into your daily tasks where emotion had previously been void. For example, the joy at being able to clumsily carry boiling pasta across the kitchen while on crutches, and conversely the intense despair at having to spend 10 fucking minutes balancing boiling pasta, while chaotically dodging cats and dogs while on crutches. That kind of bi-polar disorder.
Admittedly, I am in a fairly decent "space" at this particular moment, so this post doesn't have the wrist-slicing depressed thoughts it might have had week one of brokenness :) I've been able to keep amazingly busy and have had time (forced time) to sit down and figure out some more technical aspects to my website that I haven't been able to as of yet. Lame, yes, but I am still pretty excited that I was able to figure out the html coding to create PDF files and have my price lists link to my website (even open in new window-thanks to Sarah and Scotty) AND.. oh yes.. there's more... I have actually figured out how to add music to my website. Take that 6 yr old programmers.
I know it's all stuff that is pretty basic, but that's not the point. The point is, as my life in many aspects has come to a screeching halt, I figured why not take the forced vacation and increase my working knowledge level? So that is kinda my mantra right now. I may not be able to ride, walk, drive, work, go to shows, jump around with my camera... but at least I can read and play on my computer. Yay me.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Broken.. yet again....
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
BY Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
or so I thought....
BY Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
or so I thought....
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